A Kid Called Kyra.

that awkward moment

when your best friend takes off with your other friend and they’re gone for a really long time…

i mean, it really wouldn’t be such a big deal if i didn’t have a history with this guy, but i do, so that just makes this whole situation really… well, awkward, for lack of a better word.

especially so when she just broke up with her loser stoner boyfriend (thank god) and she’s in that state of like, idk, weakness i guess. i don’t even know what to call it, i mean i know weed is cool and all, but i just can’t get into smoking it all the time, like having my life revolve around it. it’s a good thing to have every one in a while, but all the time… nah, that’s what ruins its “specialness”, if you will. it’s like when your grandma bakes those amazing to-die-for cookies once a year. you wait literally all year long just to munch out on them because they’re THAT special and meaningful. if you were to have them all the time, they’d just be any other cookie, the meaning behind their uniqueness would be gone. that’s why smoking all the time, at least to me, is just not appealing.

but getting back to that feeling of awkwardness that even to this moment i cannot shake off… it’s weird when i’m hanging around with this guy, somewhat frequently as of late especially, and she knows this. i know he’s not mine or anything, but i invited him as my guest and she was his company for the whole night. i didn’t even get to chill with him like i normally do.

but again, this is my downfall, where i just love her so much that this scenario is just another that i will overlook because it’s her. she’s just too adorable and lovable to be mad at or whatever. god knows whatever else besides smoke they did in that long while, but for some reason, it just hurts me to think about it. i started to have feelings for this guy, but they’ll just have to vanish and be vanquished because yet again, i am faced with the loss of being the cute, adorable girl. i’m just… Amber.

there’s only one guy out there that knows that depth of me… and i’ve almost lost him, too.

</3